Chaffage.

Hey, I have an idea!  Let's pay $80/person to wake up at 4 am, and then run 13 miles in 40 degree weather while it's raining.  

Sign. me. up.

If that doesn't sound like a good time to you, you must be a real pessimist.  And fortunately, I'm an optimist.  I like to focus on the bright side of things, like the free shirt that's included!  Sold.

Soooo, Jordan and I, along with our awesome friends Collin and Christy decided we would run the 2015 Ogden 1/2 Marathon.  Part of my excitement to register was the hope that maybe this would incentivize me to actually go out and run once in awhile.  

I was sorely mistaken.

Pole is still my #1 workout routine and I have limited time to squeeze anything else in. 

Luckily, I was able to get in one 4 mi and one 6 mi training run over the last two months. Needless to say I had major pucker factor going into this. Jordan, on the other hand, has been doing great with his runs! While he had never run more than 6 miles at a time, he did get in some pretty regular 3 mile runs and even did a few 7 mi training runs beforehand!

So the night before the race we got a babysitter and headed up to the Ogden Marriott, courtesy of Clint and Christy Wasuita who are Platinum XXX Black Diamond members.  Total lifesaver - thank you guys for getting the room!!!

Jordan and Collin were generous enough to give Christy and I the pull-out couch. They are the kind of guys that hold doors open for women. 

These pics are evidence. Jordan and I are really creepy and incredibly annoying to bunk up with.

The next morning we woke up at 4 am and got ready to do the dang thing.  But first, we all pooped.  Like 5 times each.

Unfortunately at this point, Christy's energy and anxiety got the best of her and she left us all (without saying a word) at the hotel room to get on the bus and head up the canyon.  After 15 minutes of frantic searching we decided she'd been abducted and we should just get on the buses and say a little prayer for her.  So Jordan, Collin, and I all headed up the canyon in somberness, remembering what an amazing friend she has always been.

When we got to the top, we continued our search and rescue efforts and after what seemed like an eternity, found her hiding in her black hoodie amongst a sea of people.  After all of the, "Thank goodness you're alive!" pleasantries, we started our warm ups.

Collin, Jordan, and I are all proudly sporting out $6.47 sweatshirts from Walmart. They even feel new when you leave the tags on.

At this point, the race began and we started our forever long journey down the canyon.  It was 40 degrees and raining which added about 10 lbs between the sopping wet sweaters, socks, and shoes. BUT, the scenery was beautiful and I couldn't help but think how lucky we are to live amongst mountains, waterfalls, and strategically placed port-a-potties.

I'm not positive, but I'm thinking they don't want us using these photos without their permission.  I AM positive, however, that in no alternate universe would I ever pay $65 for the right to download a few photos. Give me a break!

By far my favorite part of the whole race was when Jordan whispered under his breath, "My balls are literally up inside my body right now." To which the guy passing us said, "You aren't the only one." That made the whole thing worth it.

In the end, we all finished under 2 hrs and noone died.  I count that as a success :)

Christy was nearly hypothermic while waiting for us to finish, so we all waddled as fast as we could back to the hotel and took an immediate and incredibly satisfying soak in the hot tub. 

Normally I don't swim in my clothes, but with how wet we already were, there wasn't any difference. So what the heck?  Like they say, "When in Ogden".

It will probably take at least 4 days to be able to sit on the toilet again without first supporting myself with my arms.  And as I tend to Jordan's bleeding nipples and chaffed upper thighs for the next few days, I'll have a great reminder of all the fun times that were had that day. 

Jordan didn't feel comfortable looking you in the eye while you stare at his bleeding nips.

I'm so proud of Jordan for accomplishing this and so happy that we were able to do it with such wonderful friends :)

And the moral of this story is that next time, we will either invest in a nipple-less shirt or a man bra, because, as you can see, they are equally attractive.