Here Comes the Sun :)

As usual, we haven't had a dull moment around here recently.  And that's how we like it :)

A week after completing our dreaded 1/2 marathon, we ran the 5k Thrill Seeker Stunt Run with Derek and Torrey. It was pretty cool.  Almost as cool as the peeps in this picture right here. 

That's what's up.

I'm sure many of you have had the sick pleasure of watching people on the show "Wipeout" get nailed in the face by a giant robotic boxing glove, slammed in the head by an enormous rotating bowling pin, or just crap their pants while falling to their apparent death from 50 foot high padded platforms.

Well, who wouldn't want to do that?!? We were 'bout it 'bout it.

I'm even kind of disgusted by this picture.  Why are we such weirdos??

So after that little escapade, it was time to buckle down and pack for our very exclusive, once in a lifetime (actually, it better not be) alone vacation since having 2 kids! We were about to embark on our very first trip to Maui!!

Thank goodness we have incredibly generous parents who were super excited to watch the grandkids so that we could get away :)  Mimi came out a few days in advance, which freed me up to do some of the essentials: last minute shopping, spray tan, and nails :)

I don't mess around.

Departure Day finally arrived and we were READY. 

My shirt said it all :)

Our flights were actually pretty amazing.  I used to hate flying, but now I realize that any situation in life is actually really freaking easy when you're doing it without kids.  

And besides, Food + Trashy Mags + Chris Pine....I mean "Horrible Bosses 2" = Best 7 hr flight anyone could ask for :)

We arrived in Maui around 7 pm, hopped in our sweet Jeep Wrangler, and got to watch the sun set on our first night in Maui before arriving at our unbelievable resort, The Grand Wailea, where we immediately got lei'd.  (You see what I just did there?) :P

The next morning we explored the grounds....

And then suited up for our exciting adventure on the Road to Hana :)

This picture had to be added for no other reason than so I can see it in 20 years and remember what I looked like before gravity completely took hold :P

We left for Hana armed with all of the essentials...

My handsome Chauffeur 0:)

And made our first stop at the Black Sand Beaches :)

I don't care what anyone else says....this was one of my favorite parts of the whole trip!! I would highly recommend this journey to everyone.  Sure, there are lots of twists and turns and one-way bridges, and sure, it's a 3.5 hour drive.  But it's one of the most beautiful and fun drives I've ever done, and I'd do it again in a second!  My advice: Rent a jeep and take off the top.  There is something about the wind in you hair and the smell of the rainforest that just speaks to the soul :)

We entered and passed Hana without stopping, and finally came to our coveted destination...The Seven Sacred Pools 0:)

Heaven on earth.

But first!! A little low key, totally unterrifying hike through the Bamboo Forest.

Have you ever seen more Warning Signs in your life?  I think I'd feel safer walking down 8 Mile in the dead of night holding a sign that said, "Easy Target."

But despite all the warnings, it was so cool!! A lot of it reminded us of hiking in Utah, but certain areas were incredibly unique! Including this 4 million year old tree (my stats may not be entirely accurate), some beautiful, albeit totally freezing, natural springs that we swam in, and an absolutely amazing Bamboo Forest!!

It's like my Grandpappy always told me: "If you ever find yourself in a bamboo forest, use the bamboo as a pole."

We were heavily rewarded at the end of the hike with this 2,000 ft waterfall (again, these numbers are completely made up).  It was everything I'd hoped it would be and more :)

Our hike left us exhausted, so it was time for some R+R at the pools. I could have stayed there all day and night :)

 Have you ever been so relaxed that you actually lost sphincter tone and peed yourself? 
Neither have I.  But if I had, this would have been the time.

It was time to return to our hotel for the day and we weren't done adventuring, so we headed south and went the rest of the way around the island.  This side is all desert landscape, volcanic rock, and an incredible view of the coast. 

Most people don't go this way, which was AWESOME.  We had the road to ourselves and I was driving...which meant Jordan was holding the "Oh crap!" bar and praying the whole time.  It was so much fun!!

Our final stop on this extraordinary voyage was St. Joseph's Catholic Church, built in 1862.  Awe-inspiring is the only appropriate word....or two words.  You get the point.

We got home in time to clean up for dinner at Nick's Fishmarket in the Fairmont Resort. I won't go into details, but don't waste your money on this "Five-star restaurant".  Yuck.

At least we looked cute :)

So, while on vacations, Jordan and I always meet a million people that we keep in contact with for years to come. It's something we both really enjoy...picking up friends in all areas of the world :) Well, not only did we meet Alli, Jay, and Kenny (our flight attendants that I spent over an hour chatting up because naturally I enjoy spending as much time as possible near airplane bathrooms), but we also met Phyllis. 

Phyllis is a Harvard trained Cardiologist, currently tenured at Stanford.  She enjoys long walks all alone at night, getting trashed, and accosting passerbys to tell them how hott they are and try to force them to crash parties she's attending.  But of course we thoroughly appreciated all the spit that she was spraying and the fact that she followed us all the way to dinner.  So customarily, we took a selfie to commemorate the occasion.

The next day, we rented some bikes from the hotel for Free99 and biked to breakfast at the Kihei Cafe.  

If I had wanted to gorge myself on cinnamon rolls and gigantic pancakes, this would have been the place I would do it. They make some mean food...AND make you laugh :P

The rest of the day was spent chillaxin' at the unbelievable resort pools.  There were 7 pools, connected by slides, and complete with a water elevator, lazy river, gratto, and rope swing.  

Is this real life???

After a little nap in the sun, we got ready for our dinner-and-a-movie date :) A lot of people made suggestions of places to go and things to do while in Maui.  But you know, that stuff is all so expected.  So instead of eating at some boring 5 star restaurant with fine wine and an actual server, we decided to do as the locals would and pay a little visit to Genki.  So we go all fancied up...

...thank goodness!  Because I wouldn't want to eat strip-mall-conveyor-belt sushi in casual clothes.
  

If you've never eaten a Spam Roll off of a conveyor belt, you just haven't lived.

Unfortunately the reflexive gastric acid that continually entered our mouths tasted about equal to the rolls.  But the good news is that we only spent like $4.00 and neither one of us developed a severe gastroenteritis.  So overall, I'd say it was a positive experience! :)

We then headed across the walkway and entered a movie theater that was designed by Zack Morris and his band, Zack Attack!  This building was seriously straight out of 1987, but that didn't make The Longest Ride any less romantic, or Scott Eastwood any less sexy.  So I'm not going to complain :P

When we woke up the next morning we were stoked! It was time to fly through the air with a strap up the crotch at the Longest Zipline in Hawaii!

The weather couldn't have been more perfect, the guides were hilarious, and they even took some of the $380 we paid them to feed us a granola bar during our 5 hour excursion.  So generous.  We may have almost died from complications related to hypoglycemia, but overall the experience was nothing short of amazing :)

That night I had a revelation while at the gas station.  After all this time, it was finally time to get a freggin Selfie Stick!!  So we did it!  We were the new owners of a pink Selfie Stick (which Jordan totally picked out all on his own). 

I subsequently took this photo....

...and then never used it again.

Totally worth the money.

We had some actually delicious, non-conveyor-belt sushi for dinner at Sansei.  And then went home and crashed for the night.

The next morning, we revisited one of our favorite pastimes: reenacting scenes from Titanic.  J also stared into space while flexing his triceps.  It's something he's always really enjoyed.  

We also got a front row seat to watch this guy.  

I don't care who you are.  You can't have eyes and not think that this is a treat :)

It was a great day to chill, so we just hung out at the beach and pool, but before we called it a day, I checked one off the bucket list and got a Henna Tatoo!! 

No joke, this guys teeth were rotting and he was shaking like a dog crapping razorblades, but he free-handed that tatoo like nobody's business.

We then decided to go for a little walk before we got dressed and ready for dinner.  So we chilled in this random hammock for awhile...

and then meandered down the boardwalk and stumbled upon...

Colby Caillat!!

She and Matt Nathanson were rehearsing for their private show that night, so we decided to stay and watch the whole rehearsal.  I've never been a huge fan (although I like all of her songs), but I have to say, she is amazing in person!  Beautiful voice, always on pitch, and her songs are all meaningful in their own way.  Plus, she waved at me...so that solidified it. #Soulmates

Since we were now best friends with her, we decided to skip dinner and come back that night.  So we grabbed food to go, and made a perfect little picnic on the beach :)

The concert was phenomenal and listening to Colby and Matt (at this point we were on a first name basis) while laying on the beach (FOR FREE) was pretty freggin sweet, I'm not gonna lie.  But the best part of the night....yes, it gets better, was that we met new friends!!  

Tara and John were standing near us, and since we are always looking to pick up new friends, we invited them to come hang out with us.  And we never looked back :P We bonded over deep, philosophical discussions...such as our children pooping themselves in random places and how motherhood changes your boobs.  It was such a fun night together that we decided to hang out again the next day!

Thank goodness John was in meetings and they couldn't hang out in the morning.  I say that because we decided to go boogie boarding.  Seems harmless, right?  

Well on multiple occasions Jordan had made the suggestion of a nightime skinnydip and I was borderline offended.  I mean, are we 12? How tasteless! 

No, no.  Instead, I would apparently much rather boogie board in broad daylight wearing completely inappropriate gear (aka a bikini) and have a giant wave hit me, completely disrobe me from the waist down, and leave me in 2 inches of water for all beach goers to witness.  Because that's way more fun.  #hideyoureyes #ijustboughtthosebottomsgoshdarnit!!  

Thank goodness for a good Samaritan who ran up to me after what seemed like an eternity. I've never been so happy to see a towel. 

And I never saw my precious, brand new, totally cute bikini bottoms again.

Let's please take a moment of silence....

-SILENCE-

At least I had another pair on the trip with me. And it's a good thing that Jordan is basically MacGyver because he was able to invent this bad boy out of just a piece of rope.  These bottoms were staying on!

The rest of the day was spent recovering at the pool :)

Dinner that night was at the Humuhumunukunukuapuaa Restaurant, and it did not disappoint. (Yes, that is really the name.  And no, even the locals can't pronounce it.)

The next day was sadly our last, so we went for a nice run and then just spent the day chilling at the pool and appreciating life.  We are so fortunate to be able to take vacations like this, not only financially, but also having wonderful parents whose joy in life is hanging out with our kids :) Thank you SO much Mimi, Grandma, and Grandpa...we appreciate it more than you know!!  

We had another beautiful dinner, and then drove to the airport for our VERY long red-eye flight home.  

But the fun doesn't end there.  Apparently its a giant offense to sneak fruit in and out of the island, so everyone is required to go through agricultural inspections.  Well, when Jordan asked the officers if the banana in his pants counted, I wasn't the slightest bit surprised. Fortunately there appeared to be a language barrier because the guy just stared at him with a confused expression, and we were able to walk away sans handcuffs :P

And on the flight home, as our backs and necks were aching, my legs continually fell asleep, Jordan's arm was experiencing borderline hypothermia, and we were listening to the sound of a fellow passenger coughing/vomiting/dying or a combination of the three, we sat back and reflected on how lucky we are to not only still have each other, but to really love one another :)  I would do anything for this guy, and I know he would do the same.

We returned home to the two sweetest little girls in the whole world, and could not have been happier to see them.  It's easy to get worn down raising kids...constantly doing everything for them, and having someone crying or upset at (what seems like) all times.  There were many times on this vacation that I kept thinking how happy I was to be relaxing and not at home wiping poopy diapers and listening to someone whining.  But all we needed was a week away, and we returned rejuvenated and ready to play! I'm so blessed to have my family and so happy to be back together as a family again!