Deep Thoughts By Meredith Pike-Meher

DEEP THOUGHTS BY MEREDITH PIKE-MEHER

(And a quick healthy recipe that Kins loves!!)

Who remembers Jack Handey?!?! What a genius.  One of the 7 wonders of the world if you ask me.  But that is neither here nor there.  Saddle up, you're about to learn a lot.  (Or just waste 5 minutes of your life.)

1. As I said before, I just want Kinsey (and in the future all of my other children) to be Happy and Healthy and Safe.  If every decision that she makes can fulfill those 3 criteria, it will lead to a good  life. And if bad decisions are made, I will let her feel the consequences of those decisions. Starting now. I want her to learn to make her own decisions and think for herself, even if a negative outcome is the result of that decision.

2. Saying "no".  I recently read a woman's blog where she discusses the negative side of telling her children to "hurry up" all the time.  While I definitely agree with her, I feel the same way about saying the word "no".  If you say "no" all the time to your child, the word loses it's power. I saw a woman in Jiffy Lube the other day with her 2 year old and I swear she must have said the word "no" 30 times in 30 minutes.  And guess what? That kid could've cared less. I find that so far if Kinsey is doing something that I don't want her to do, I redirect.  Example: "Oh Kins, you think THAT is cool....well, what about THIS??" And get her occupied doing something else.  Or, I say, "Kinsey, please don't play with that. It's not a toy." etc.  I reserve "No" for when it is something dangerous or something that could hurt her.  And when I say "no", I mean it. I follow through. If she doesn't listen, she goes to time out. So guess what? Now, when I say "No", Kinsey freezes in her tracks.  The word still has power, and I hope I can keep it that way.  :)

3. "You are the smartest girl in the whole class!!" I heard Jordan tell Kins the other day.  While I definitely try daily to boost her self-esteem so that she develops into a confident young woman, I see two negatives here.  #1 I don't want her to become that girl on American Idol who thinks she's Mariah Carey but to everyone else sounds like Fran Drescher.  #2 (and most importantly) I don't want her to become overwhelmed with the pressure to be "The Best".  One thing that I have learned in this life which I will definitely teach my children is that you will never be the best.  Someone will always be nicer, funnier, prettier, smarter, richer, stronger, faster than you.  It's inevitable.  BUT, if you can be average or good at all (or most) of those things, you have it made.  Wanting to be the best only creates self-doubt and jealousy when you can't achieve it.  But wanting to be decent at a wide variety of things is achievable and leaves a person feeling satisfied and confident with themselves and what they have to offer.

4. Tantrums.  While I've been lucky enough to avoid any embarrassing oh-my-gosh-is-this-really-happening-in-public tantrums, I have been privy to a few minor melt-downs so far.  And what I've learned from this is that it is decidedly beneficial to ignore my child. :) Ignoring your child may sound like child abuse these days, but man does it work to a parent's favor.  When Kins drops to the floor in tears because I won't give her Goldfish crackers for breakfast, I immediately turn around and say, "Bye Bye Kins.  I'm going over here and you can come get me when you're done acting inappropriately." While I'm almost certain she doesn't understand those words, she will one day.  And she definitely understands that I'm leaving her there alone.  Thus, the tantrum ends, and she comes to get me and see what fun thing I'm playing with.  I'm just hoping this tactic works until she reaches an age where I can reason with her.

5. RELAX. Take a deep breath. They will have bad days, sick days, clingy days, etc.  There will be days when ramming my head into the steering wheel to knock myself unconscious sounds more appealing than listening to one more second of crying or whining. But remember: I only have 876 weeks left (that's actually an accurate estimation) with my child until she is out of the house and starting her own life.  And every day is unique. She will only be this size, like this toy, laugh at this facial expression, and want to sit on my lap for a hug for a brief flash of time. And then it'll be gone.  I'm going to appreciate every second I get.

Kinsey's new favorite recipe: Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal

1/3 cup whole milk

1/4 cup old fashioned oats

1/4 cup Honey Vanilla Greek Yogurt (the high fat kind)

1/4 cup applesauce

1 1/2 teaspoons ground flax seed

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

Mix all together in a Tupperware and shake really well.  Put in the refrigerator overnight and serve the next morning.  I usually double the recipe so I have enough for a few days, and I also chop up a banana into tiny slivers to mix in the next morning.  Kinsey can't get enough!!